Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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