Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
