ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
