dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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