We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
