i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
