JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
