ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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