either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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