what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
are you so shy because you have an std?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
