You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Randomize
