I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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