More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
