dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
