Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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