dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
vagina is talking i cant
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
