I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
