Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
