he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
