Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
