are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
