so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
