thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
