Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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