I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
