my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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