I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
dude. I can hear the air.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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