dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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