Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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