Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I had to cum in my sink.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
