i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
