fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
