definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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