No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Two words: blizzard sex
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
