I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
