Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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