new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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