I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
