so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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