She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
