This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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