Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
