D3 body, D1 cock
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
