Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Randomize
