I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
