I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
