Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
