How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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