You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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