I wish I could punch you in the face.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
