You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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