Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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